The Gift of Maybe by Allison Carmen

Author:Allison Carmen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Group US
Published: 2014-09-30T16:00:00+00:00

The Maybe Mind at Work and Play

When we use the Maybe Mind at work, our openness to other people’s thoughts and opinions leads us to a deeper understanding of where they are coming from and allows us to enter a more creative state to accomplish mutual goals. Instead of sticking to the way things have always been done, try to notice the opportunities, even small ones, for trying a new approach. Maybe a monthly meeting could be held in a more informal space. Maybe opening the floor to questions would yield some new ideas. Maybe a longtime office rival could be included in a new project rather than elbowed out—what would happen then?

Committing to engage Maybe when we are with our children, too, can be a lifesaver. Kids’ behavior is unpredictable, and when we engage in Maybe we let go of how we think an experience should be or how our children should be acting. We can remain focused on what the children need to accomplish or where the family needs to go, but realize that there are many different ways to get there.

For example, every morning when I wake up, I commit to Maybe when I deal with my family. One of the most common challenges in my house is trying to get everyone up and out in order to be at school and work on time. Recently, my husband came back from the gym with ten minutes left on the clock before we had to leave for a concert. My older daughter was upset that she could not find her pants, and my younger daughter had decided to take photographs of her stuffed animals instead of brushing her teeth. I knew from experience that if I started to argue with anything that was happening in that moment, I would lose my way, become upset and worried, and end up leaving even later. Instead, I took a deep breath and remembered my commitment to Maybe. I thought to myself: Maybe we will get it together and leave on time, Maybe we can take a cab instead of walking, Maybe the event will start late, or Maybe being a few minutes late is not so bad.

I stayed calm in Maybe with all its possibilities. I directed my husband into the shower and reiterated the time that we needed to leave. I helped my older daughter find her pants with grace and ease and nudged my younger one to the bathroom to brush her teeth. We left the apartment ten minutes after I’d wanted to, but there was no worry, stress, or fighting. Walking out the door, we were all smiling. When we got to the concert, it turned out the start of the performance was delayed by ten minutes. We ended up being five minutes early!

The Maybe Mind can also help us stay present in our relationships with our spouses or good friends because it allows us to give up how we thought things “should” be and find a new place to be together.

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